Your Needs Met: The Driving Force of Wellbeing
The Human Givens approach offers a powerful lens through which to understand ourselves and others: all behaviour of living things is an attempt to meet innate needs.
From the simplest single-celled organism, which demonstrates a basic form of control in moving towards nutrients and away from harm, to the complex actions of human beings, the underlying drive is the same – to satisfy those conditions essential for survival and thriving.
However, for humans, this process is far from straightforward. Our highly evolved brains, with their immense capacity for thought, emotion, and complex social interaction, bring both incredible advantages and unique challenges. The sophisticated world we have constructed doesn't always align with our ancient, innate needs. Coupled with our individual genetic predispositions, learned behaviours (conditioning) shaped by life experiences, and the varying resources available to us, our attempts to meet needs can sometimes be inaccurate, inefficient, or even counterproductive. Understanding this helps us to compassionately interpret our own behaviours and those of others, recognizing them as efforts – however flawed at times – to get fundamental needs met.
When our essential emotional and physical needs are adequately and sustainably met, we experience good mental health and a sense of wellbeing. Conversely, unmet needs are a primary source of stress and emotional distress.
Alongside our emotional needs, our fundamental physical needs for Food & Drink, Movement, and Sleep are paramount. These form the bedrock upon which our emotional health is built.
Here is a breakdown of these essential needs:
Foundational Physical Needs
Food: Nourishment for the body is essential for physical and mental functioning. This involves consuming a balanced variety of whole foods, including vegetables and fruit (with fibre), protein sources, healthy fats (which are crucial for brain health), and appropriate carbohydrates for energy.
Drink: Adequate hydration is vital, as the body is largely composed of water, with the brain having an even higher water content. Water, containing a balance of electrolytes, is necessary for proper neurological and cellular function throughout the body.
Movement: Our brains and bodies evolved for movement. Regular physical activity, especially vigorous movement, helps to discharge stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, which can accumulate during challenging situations. Movement is key to meeting many of our complex needs.
Sleep: Sleep is an active state crucial for repair and recovery. During sleep, the body's cells undertake a clean-up operation, and systems are repaired on many levels, particularly during deep sleep. Emotionally, dreaming helps to process unresolved emotional expectations from the day, though excessive dreaming can be tiring. Aiming for consistent and sufficient sleep (roughly 7-9 hours per night for many adults) is best practice.
Core Emotional Needs
Security: This is the need to feel safe and to have a stable, predictable environment where we can confidently anticipate that our essential needs will be met. It involves the emotional brain making predictions about the future based on past experiences and present perceptions. This system isn't always accurate; past traumas or anxieties can lead to a persistent (and sometimes incorrect) feeling of insecurity even when objective threats are low. True security means our internal "threat level" is appropriately calibrated to our actual circumstances, allowing us to relax and engage with life openly.
Control (Autonomy): Having a sense of volition and choice in our lives is crucial. This need is met when we feel we have influence over what happens to us and can make decisions about how we meet our own needs. It’s important to focus attention on areas where we do have control, rather than on things we do not.
Attention: Humans need to both give and receive attention. Quality attention is a form of essential nourishment. Receiving attention makes us feel acknowledged and valued. Giving attention to others, and to our environment, allows us to receive information and engage meaningfully with the world.
Community: We are social beings who evolved to live in groups. This need involves feeling part of something larger than ourselves – a connection to a wider community, be it family, friends, colleagues, or interest groups. A sense of belonging provides a network of support and shared experience.
Respect & Status: This is the need to feel valued and respected for who we are and what we contribute within our social groups. When our contributions are acknowledged, it affirms our place and importance within the community, reinforcing our sense of security and belonging.
Emotional Connection (Intimacy): This refers to the need to experience a deep connection with at least one other person where we feel accepted for who we are, "warts and all," without unreasonable judgment. This can be a partner, family member, or close friend, and allows for the sharing of our inner world and feelings.
Privacy: Everyone needs periods of solitude and private time to reflect, process experiences, and consolidate learning without the demands and input of others. This allows us to integrate new information into our understanding of the world and make considered choices.
Achievement (Competence): This need is met through learning, mastering skills, and overcoming challenges. Recognising our capabilities and feeling competent in areas of our lives builds self-esteem. It’s about the internal acknowledgement of our progress and successes.
Meaning & Purpose: This is the drive to feel that our life has significance and that we are engaged in something worthwhile. Meaning and purpose can be found in many ways: being stretched and challenged (e.g., learning something new, pursuing a difficult goal), feeling needed by others, or being connected to a cause or belief system that is bigger than oneself. It gives us a reason to get up in the morning.
Meeting these physical and emotional needs in healthy, balanced ways is fundamental to our overall wellbeing and allows us to live fulfilling lives. When these needs are met, we thrive.
Of course. Here is the revised concluding section, integrating the role of therapy and adding a call to action.
Putting the Map to Use
When you look at your life through the lens of these needs, what do you see? Which needs feel full and nourished? Which ones feel depleted?
Often, the source of our distress can be traced directly to one or more of these areas. By identifying the specific unmet need, we can move from a vague sense of unhappiness to a clear, actionable starting point for change.
This is precisely where good therapy can be transformative. Working with this model, a therapist helps you to accurately identify which of your innate needs are not being met in balance and why. A key understanding here is how your innate resources can be focused to meet needs accurately.
This blueprint doesn't just explain why things go wrong; it provides a clear and hopeful path toward putting them right. It’s the foundation for building a life that doesn't just look good on the outside, but feels good on the inside.
If this way of understanding wellbeing resonates with you, and you would like to explore how you can better meet your own needs, please get in touch to find out more or to schedule a consultation.