Very often we think we know what we want, we feel that something is right for us. So we pursue it ruthlessly, but then we find that when we attain it that it is not only dissatisfying but fundamentally unfulfilling. We thought that attaining this thing or that state would bring us more happiness than it does. Or maybe we thought that achieving a certain objective may serve our lives in some way, making it more meaningful.
So here, from this vantage-point of having reached or tried to reach our objective, we may ask ourselves, what was the real purpose of that goal?
Why was I so set on that? How could I have been so naive to think that this thing or that action would bring me to a better palace in my life?
As with all challenges, all problems, the first step to finding the solution is to ask the right question.
In this instance, we may wish to ask ourselves: what was driving my want, my need to put my energy into that goal? What drove me to make the decision to pursue that goal?
More often than not, we might find that our guidance system to getting our needs met was askew in some way. We may find for example, that we wanted that shiny new car, and worked extra hours to pay for it, only because we are lacking in some other area of life. A lack of status perhaps...
The good news is that no matter how unfulfilling an achievement is, the time was not wasted! Aside from deriving some development from the journey to the goal, take a look back over your reasoning for your actions. Observe the basis of your drive. Then you may be able to ascertain the real need that you were trying to satisfy; the actual ingredient that was missing that could make your life balanced and healthy.
When we know what that is, we have vital information for moving forward to an effective and more fulfilling life. And seeing as we've already engaged that drive, we can certainly engage it again to move towards a goal that actually gets us closer real fulfillment...